Do you ever feel overwhelmed and guilty? Do you know the feeling? That’s how I feel at this moment. And what makes it even worse is that I feel I don’t have any right to feel that way. And yes, the truth is that I do.
Write a blog for my website! I have this task written on my list for six months now. I haven’t written a word for six months! Oh dear, a sense of guilt rushes through my body. Why haven’t I? Since I left to Hawaii to swim with dolphins I haven’t touched my blog at all. Why?
Yes, first I consciously took some time off, going to Hawaii to fulfill my childhood dream and swim with wild dolphins. And after returning back to Australia I just wasn’t in the space for doing it even though I had so much to share.
Topics and thoughts have been popping into my mind and yet, nothing made it to the paper. Topics started to build up a stock and my sense of overwhelmed became to grow up. All right, it’s time to look into the truth of this. What is really going on?
I sit down, breath deeply and allow my emotions to arise. Now in the state of calm and silence I start to understand what they want to tell me.
- Someone said so – writing a blog every week started to feel as an obligation. “You have to post a blog at least every week”; I hear the on-line marketing gurus saying. I realize that I don’t like the obligation and the sense of “Must to” at all. Oh yes, that’s the rebel in me revolting against rules that someone else sets up for me. And at the same time I feel guilty for not following those rules. I get it. That’s me.
- Blocked Channel – Even though I have so many topics to share in my mind, by the time I want to write them down, they are gone. My mind goes blank. The topics and thoughts get lost in the time gap between their birth and their application.
- Time pressure and panic – the time since my last blog became too long. And it’s getting longer day-by-day. And with that my sense of panic and overwhelmed grows as well. Where do I start? What do I write first?
So what? A surprising sense of clarity flushes through my mind and what to do becomes obvious.
I am going to talk to the rebel in me. We are going to make our own, free of obligations decisions. Yes, I am free to make choices that are right for me regardless of what the others say.
I am going to support my mind and the way it produces thoughts and ideas. I have to capture my thought at the moment they are born. No “I will remember that” anymore.
I know where to start. I am going to start right there where I am right now. I am going to write about feeling overwhelmed and guilty.
What have I learned already? That it’s OK not to be perfect. I can now relax in my own imperfection.
Uf, feeling much better now. Finally I am able to accept the situation exactly as it is. I Stop fighting my own feelings and the clarity comes straight away. How simple!